A new Story
Created by Linzi 11 years ago
On the 5th of May 2005 we found out I was
pregnant with our 3rd child. I can't say that we
were over joyed at first, because we weren't, we
were concerned about my health and concerned that
we had a 6mth old and a 23mth old already. As
time
progressed and we got used to the idea that we
were
going to have three children under the age of three,
we became excited and started counting down the
days untill our baby arrived. I had a pregnancy that
was similar to my other 2 and had no reason to think
there was anything wrong, we went to all of our
check ups and our 12wk scan showed no problem. As
the time approached for our 20wk scan we were
very
excited although i was convinced that after having 2
boys the scan was going to reveal another boy. How
wrong was i???
As the sonographer started the scan my husband
said
straight away that if it was possible could we please
be told the sex of our baby. We were busy smiling
and been excited to see the look on the
sonographers
face...when i did notice it we were reassured
everything was fine.... she said that due to the
postion our baby was in we would have to go to
bristol to try and get a clearer scan we were told
not to worry it was just routine. However when our
appointment arrived for bristol it said we were going
to see the professor of fetal medicine at St
Micheals. I started to panick and all of our friends
and family said we were worrying over nothing.
After
a week of worrying we went to bristol and even
before i had my scan the professor pulled us to one
side and said that the sonographer here in taunton
had sent a report to him via an urgent fax
explaining
that she had seen severe amounts of water on our
babies brain. Thats where it all started, and they
left us a week worrying when they knew. Anyway i
had my scan which only confirmed the results of my
previous scan, i also had an amniocentisis. The tests
results all came back clear showing that i wasnt
having a baby boy i was having a little girl...Our
daughter Madison, so i had an MRI which showed us
that although Madison had very large amounts of
water her brain was intact and all there...just small
and compressed from the pressure. The plan was to
deliver Madison at 38wks by c section and then
2wks
later operate to place a shunt. We were thrilled,
and
very anxious as we were told that Madison would be
disabled. It took a while to ajust to the fact that
our baby was sick but knowing that she would be ok
made our day. i had regular scans at bristol and all
was going well the water was progressing but not at a
rate that was causing concern. So it was decided
that I would be scanned every 2wks here in Taunton
and be delivered here then transferred to bristol for
her surgery.All my scans here ( as far as we knew)
were ok, then at 32wks we went for another and
during the scan my husband pointed out that
Madisons head looked a lot bigger then 2wks earlier
our consultant said every thing was fine and we were
still going for delivery at 38wks. I went off to have
my blood pressure checked and then the consultant
took is in to a side room and said that our daughter
had a head the size of a 4wk old baby and her brain
tisue had been destroyed. She went on to tell us thqt
delivery needed to be that day and that there was
no way our baby could survive infact she said she would be surprised if Madison wasn't still born. We we saddened and blessed that day. She was born with a cry that filled the room, bright eyes and kicking legs! she had the same new born smell as our sons and looking at her you couldnt overly tell there was anything wrong with her. Knowing it was only a matter of time until she died was like waiting for a bomb. 6 hrs was not enough time to tell her everythin we needed to say, to share the dreams we had wished for her, to tell her it was ok we were with her and would make sure she wasnt hurting. time almost stood still. As every hour passed we prayed and hoped the drs were wrong and we would be taking our baby girl home wth us, but her breathing became laboured, and eventually it stopped, followed shortly by her heart. The dr came in, listened to her chest, checked for a pulse and checked her eyes, she looked at us with the sadnes we knew was coming and couldnt avoid anymore her words will haunt me for the rest of my life... Pupils fixed and dialated, no heart beat and no effrts to breath. I felt like i couldnt breath, there in my arms lay my tiny 4lb 6.5oz daughter, she was still warm and she was still pink, how could they be saying she was gone. it was like the air had been sucked out of the room, my insides shattered beyond repair.
The pain that hit us that day cannot be put in to words
Madison was born on the 22nd November
2005 at 4.31 pm . We had a precious 6hrs
with our daughter before she fell asleep in my arms and never woke again
I her mummy Linzi and her daddy Andrew will love her and remember her forever.
Madison is also greatly missed by her two elder brothers Tyler-lee & Riley and her younger brother Oliver